Unconditional Love

One person can make a difference, and everyone should try. John F. Kennedy

Over the past few days my household was shook with unfortunate events. There were tears, anger, fear, and uncertainty. My oldest has had to make a choice to better himself and his life.

When I became a mom, my whole world changed, obviously we all know that. But what I mean is I became so aware of this little life. This precious, innocent little human that I created, that grew in my belly, and the realization that this little boy depends on me for everything. Now, fast forward a few years and now I have two children. As most of you know we are a blended family, Lincoln is from Matt's previous marriage. When Lincoln first came into my life, I didn’t know how to be around him. He was 12 at the time, and the only experience I had with children was Kodi, who at the time was 2 and a half. It was quite an adjustment let me tell you. Matt and I constantly clashed over the boys.

Years later, after many growing pains we are now a strong family unit. The joy I get when my boys come home is pretty much the excitement that your dog may feel when you come home. These two are my world.

Kodi is currently in Ohio, visiting his grandparents and Lincoln is home with us. On Sunday Kodi comes home, and we couldn’t be more thrilled!

I look at my children and think of all they can accomplish in life, I see them growing and changing daily. The confidence, and self-respect I witness blooming out of them is something only a parent can see. Sometimes I feel like we, (I) show too much affection or concern for them. It’s hard to accept Lincoln will be 18 in less than a month.

Having a blended family is hard. We have been lucky in the fact that we don’t have many issues with our boys’ other parents. Because they are only with us part time, I try very hard to show them affection and love. When you show your child true unconditional love, things change in them. It helps your child’s mental well-being, makes your child physically healthier, creates a stronger bond between parent and child and makes your child less fearful and more world rounded

There are tons of way you can show your affection and love, when children are younger, parents need to show this affection through physical demonstration, such as hugging, cuddling and holding them. Mutual games are a great way to show love and affection and also creates a bonding experience. In toddler age, holding their hands while they walk is a good way to show affection and gives them a sense of security. Having a discussion with your child is another way to show love. We have so many talks with Lincoln. Everything from school, his other house, relationships, everything. And I do mean everything. We have built a very strong relationship and I can honestly say he is one of my best friends.

As children get older, parents can show affection in non-physical ways, such as paying attention to your children and listening, remembering and celebrating important moments in their lives, and always tell them they are loved before bed.

There is a chemical in the brain called Oxytocin. This is a chemical in the brain that is released during times when a person feels love and connection. It has been shown to help parents’ bond with their children, by adding a sense of trust and support between them. This causes a child to feel more positive emotions.

In 2010, researchers at Duke University Medical School found that babies with very affectionate and attentive mothers grow up to be happier, more resilient, and less anxious adults. The study involved approximately 500 people who were followed from when they were infants until they were in their 30s. This just proves that affection is very important.

As a child myself, I can admit it hurts when you try to have a conversation with someone and they don’t even realize you were talking, because they were too busy on their phone, tablet, computer, ect. There is nothing more important in your life than your child. And if something is coming between that, whatever it is needs to go. Again, there is NOTHING more important than your child.

I am not perfect by any means, but I love my children and would burn the world down for them.

If you have children please hang on to those precious moments while you can, one day they won’t be there, and you’ll have missed your chance.

Love, Sandra Kellas

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