Sometimes we need someone there for us. Not to fix anything or do anything particular, so we can feel that we are supported and cared for during hard times.
Saturday, me and the boys were planning to go to the Mother Son Dance at our local community center. Matt took Lincoln out a couple weeks ago to get a suit and then took Kodi to get one this morning.
When I woke up around 9am on Saturday morning, I felt this awful pain in my back. It was the same pain that I had felt the first time we called an ambulance for my pancreatitis. I adjusted on the couch a bit and turned the heating pad on. I try and use other methods of pain control before I go to the opiates. About 30 minutes later Matt handed me 10mg of Oxy. Shortly after, the pain had come down to a manageable level. During the day the pain was gradually getting worse.
So about this dance..... we waited till the very last minute to get tickets. I wasn't able to order them online and Lincoln couldn't get them because he isn't 18. Matt tried all day to get tickets, but by 3:30pm we realized it wasn't going to happen.
Instead of just doing nothing and everyone doing their own thing we decided to order out (for the boys, not me) and watch the Incredible one and two. We loved the first one and are excited to see the second one.
I was sitting outside with the boys talking and hanging out, and then went to the restroom. While I was in there I got very dizzy. I started seeing spots and I felt like I was on the Vortex at a State Fair. I sat down for a couple minutes while it passed. I came out feeling okay. I grabbed my glass of water and started to walk towards the kitchen. Next thing I know I'm on the floor.
All three boys came rushing to my side. Lincoln started cleaning up the water, Matt came to hold me up, and Kodi grabbed the walker for me. Kodi threw the Xbox remote without a thought. And I felt like Lincoln and Matt were next to me even before I hit the floor.
I am so unbelievably blessed to have such a strong support system. I know without a doubt that I am loved. There are times I feel alone, scared, worried but never unloved. I have a wonderful amazing family.
Even though we aren't at the dance, we are all together and that's what matters the most.