With the days leading up to my surgery I have been very scared. I have been so afraid of what could happen. What if I dont wake up? What if something goes wrong? I know pain, and I am so afraid to feel any more. I'm exhausted all the time, and get so worked up that sometimes I get sick from worry. I hide away, or let all my tears go after everyone is asleep. The demons I face are mean, and self destructing. My mind goes crazy and all I want to do is scream. Even tonight, I was in my room getting together a basket for my Grandparents for when they get here. ( last year I didnt even offer towels 🤦🏼♀️) for a quick moment I thought my surgery was tomorrow. Instantly my stomach fell straight to my ass.
As quickly as that fear came over me, it quickly dissipated and I regained my composure. I am not sure if it's everyone's prayers, Matt talking to me, or I finally let go and had faith, who knows maybe all the above! Whatever it was I was instantly calmed and now I am not only at peace but also very excited! Please keep the prayers coming, not only for me, but my husband and boys.